Spam / Off Topic Public-service Annoucement: Swifthawk Exposed

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Swifthawk, Nov 6, 2014.

  1. Swifthawk

    Swifthawk Athion Member Athion Member

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    Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great apprehension that we bring to you, the people, this public-service announcement:

    Swifthawk has been linked to the Illuminati!

    Sources tell us that Swifthawk's true name is actually SWIFTHAWK, which experts have informed us contains one letter "i", which (when pronounced correctly) sounds EXACTLY the same as the word "eye", which is a known symbol of the Illuminati. These sources have also informed us that the word "illuminati" contains two "l"s, which when compared to a capital "i" appears to be IDENTICAL. The two "l"s, plus a capital "i" from his name, equates to three similar shapes, three being the dominate numeral associated with this under-ground group. Coincidence? Probably, but UNLIKELY!

    Also, recent reports have confirmed that there are THREE of the aforementioned "i"s in Illuminati, a letter that has already been PROVEN to be present in Swifthawk's true name. This makes four "i"s in total. The name "swifthawk" contains two definitely unrelated, but no doubt GUILTY, words. These two, plus the four "i"s, equals six, which when divided by the two "l"s from earlier, equals THREE! This CANNOT be labeled as inconsistent evidence; the math PROVES it!

    Our anonymous sponsors also wish us to promote the founding of campaign against this wolf-in-sheep's-clothing, Swifthawk. His lying and scheming must be put to an end, if our community is to be safe. And if worst comes to worst; if :athion main icon: falls to the Illuminati, then the word is soon to follow.

    DO NOT LET THEM WIN! DO NOT LET THIS COMMY-FA**IT-PINKO-BED-WETTER ENSLAVE YOUR FAMILIES!

    It is with great hopes that I, Swifthawk, journeyman reporter for the :athion main icon: Public Service Offices Place, write to you, the good people of :athion main icon:, in order to bring about the end of the schemer and traitor, Swifthawk.

    (This message has not been approved by the FDA, and is not supposed to treat or cure any Swifthawk-related issues, including but not limited to death, stroke, critical heart failure, and erections lasting longer than four hours)







    Wait a minute.....
     
    #1
    leg01as likes this.
  2. Lord Arrani

    Lord Arrani Athion Member Athion Member

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    Watch it all the way through :P
     
    #2
    noskill11 and sycoinc like this.
  3. Oregton

    Oregton Athion Member Athion Member

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    this illuminate stuff is going a bit too far...
     
    #3
  4. Swifthawk

    Swifthawk Athion Member Athion Member

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    Agreed.
     
    #4
  5. Oregton

    Oregton Athion Member Athion Member

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    so i vote that we all stop the illuminate stuff! like if u second the motion and or agree!
     
    #5
  6. HydraTyphoon

    HydraTyphoon Athion Member Athion Member

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    I agree! We should make a stand against illuminating! Down with light bulbs and electricity, this age shall become dark! :vamp:
     
    #6
    noskill11 likes this.
  7. Oregton

    Oregton Athion Member Athion Member

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    wh-wha- what? no electricty?! i live on electronics man! and we need lightbulbs! i dont wanna live in the 17th century! i wanna be in the 21st century! o_O
     
    #7
  8. karottenkoenig

    karottenkoenig Athion Member Athion Member

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    Yay! Steampunk all the way!! Gaslanterns and fancy gears for everyone! Also: Zeppelins everywhere! Be gone, electricity!!
     
    #8
  9. Oregton

    Oregton Athion Member Athion Member

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    nuuu we need electricty to survive!
     
    #9
  10. karottenkoenig

    karottenkoenig Athion Member Athion Member

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    We'll have steampower then. Its like electricity with style. Ye olde electricity
     
    #10
    ajoyboy likes this.
  11. Oregton

    Oregton Athion Member Athion Member

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    nuuu we must stay with the computers!! computers r what we
    live on :P
     
    #11
  12. Swifthawk

    Swifthawk Athion Member Athion Member

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    I don't know, I wouldn't mind living in a steam-punk world. Sure, steam-punk isn't my favorite style, but I've always dreamed of living in a simpler time...
     
    #12
  13. HydraTyphoon

    HydraTyphoon Athion Member Athion Member

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    We don't need them new fangled doohickies to have a nice life. Don't you long for a nice farm on a floating island powered by windmills and British gentleman with oversized monocles?​
     
    #13
  14. Oregton

    Oregton Athion Member Athion Member

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    heck no! i crave future technology!
     
    #14
  15. Swifthawk

    Swifthawk Athion Member Athion Member

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    I don't know, those british guys sound very enticing...
     
    #15
  16. Oregton

    Oregton Athion Member Athion Member

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    welp im outta here then.. *flees*
     
    #16
  17. gibaxd

    gibaxd Athion Member Athion Member

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    anonymous
     
    #17
  18. Stamog

    Stamog Athion Member Athion Member

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    Yeah.. uhmm
     
    #18
  19. MADVIU

    MADVIU Athion Member Athion Member

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    Yep, I'm with you on this one. I'm into the sophisticated lifestyle. Electricity and all.
     
    #19
    Oregton likes this.

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